The 24 Stages from Courtship to Marriage

Modern courtship bears little resemblance to the rituals that traditionally led to marriage in most countries in the past. Technology and economics have changed the rules, the expectations, and the rituals leading to marriage.

I discovered this very cool set of twenty-five hand-tinted stereographs showing the various stages from courting to marriage.

Check out the twist on the third date – we’ve come along way baby!

There is no date given on the cards, but they are most likely from the late 19th century. The images might assist a bride who is looking for a vintage wedding ceremony theme.

Unfortunately, the eleventh card is missing from the uploaded set – perhaps a wedding night come early, and the resulting card is too hot for public in the 19th century.

1. The Bashful Lover Makes His First Call
01

2. Second Call. Improvement on Call No. 1
02

3. Third Call. Mother Wants to Know if He is Coming
03

4. Waiting for Him04

5. One O’clock in the Morning
05

6. Half Past One in the Morning06

7. A Quarter to Two in the Morning
07

8. The Proposal
08

9. Showing the Engagement Ring
09

10. My Wife To-morrow
10

11. Wedding Night (Unfortunately this card is missing)

12. Decorating for the Wedding12

13. The Bridesmaids Ready for the Ceremony
13

14. The Bride Ready for the Ceremony
14

15. The Wedding March
15

16. The Wedding
16

17. Placing the Wedding Ring
17

18. The Blessing
18

19. The Bridegroom’s Kiss
19

20. The Mother’s Kiss
20

21. The Father’s Congratulations
21

22. Alone at Last
22

23. Married and Settled
23

24. “I Just Knew It Would Be a Boy”
24

Yummy, Yummy, Yummy – I Have Love in My Tummy

Am I in love?

 

1

Many of us know that when we are in love, it feels yummy to our tummy. Do you remember the song by Ohio Express released in the Sixties Yummy, Yummy, Yummy I have Love in My Tummy? The hunger for love sometimes makes us feel like we are in love.

We all know that being in love does make us feel light and airy. We also know that fighting with our love can feel weakened, tired and sometimes even achy and flu-like.

What is impressive is that there is research, which reveals that this is a physiological phenomenon which can be measured. When we are feeling connected, supported, loved, it appears that certain things specifically happen. For example, we release more oxytocin, the cuddle hormone, this hormone can reduce the activity of the fear response in the brain, via the amygdala. Most notably, a belief in being connected is correlated with higher vagal tone. The vagus is the central nerve of the parasympathetic nervous system, the rest and digest system. When the vagus is well-toned we tend to be calmer, are more emotionally resilient, and healthier.
Likewise, vagal tone is correlated with a reduction in inflammation and helps to reduce heart rate, thus, reducing the risk of cardiovascular disease and various other physical diseases. In fact, if we have healthy relationships, we heal more quickly after surgery, and we tend to live longer!

Now on the opposite side of the equation negative relationship can cause much strive and undermine well-being, and it seems better for our health to be in no relationship than to be in one that causes constant strife. For example, painful relationships with a significant other can cause dysregulation in the immune system; we get sick more often. Also, researchers found that painful marriages increase the risk of disease as much as smoking and obesity. This is especially true of cardiovascular disease as stress increases blood pressure and cortisol levels and the chronic situation where both are high have pernicious effects on the heart. Intriguingly women often report more marital stress than men do, so they tend to suffer more physically in challenging relationships than men. Men somehow seem to benefit more often from a health perspective in relationships even when they are a bit difficult.

So what can we practically do with this information to increase our sense of well-being? One thing would obviously be only to make sure to stay with partners where there is peace, but sometimes this is not always the case, and we aren’t prepared to leave the relationship, in this case, mindfulness and even yoga can help, and this is for three reasons.

  1. Mindfulness practice tends to increase compassion. (Gar 2012) When we feel more compassionate, even if nothing has changed in our lives we have this experience of feeling more connected to others which seems to give rise to more vagal tone and thereby greater health.
  2. In a research study looking at women with a major depressive disorder, who felt deeply disconnected and isolated, expressed a feeling of much more significant connectedness following the yoga classes.
  3. When we practice yoga and mindfulness, we tend to become more tolerant and often that which would upset us no longer seems so stressful. Further, we become more emotional and physiological resilient and so negative experiences simply impact the body less.

So, if your relationship is hard and you aren’t ready to leave consider practice yoga and mindfulness to enhance your sense of well-being and reduce the strain of the difficulties you feel. On the other hand, if you have a wonderful relationship thank your partner for supporting you in being healthy and well!

Name Change Resources For The State Of Michigan

Before you can change your name, you’ll need the original (or certified copy of) marriage license with the raised seal and your new last name on it. Your wedding officiant must verify your marriage license with his/her signature and provide you with a copy of your Michigan Marriage License following your wedding ceremony. You can call the clerk’s office where your license was filed to get copies if one wasn’t automatically sent to you.

There is no legal requirement for name change after getting married; it is a right a couple may choose to exercise.

Traditionally, the bride has taken the groomís last name. If you are intending anything other than the traditional name change, check with each agency for its requirements to accomplish that.

Michigan State law does not impose a time limit after the wedding by which a name change must be accomplished. However, if you are making the change more than a year after your wedding, check with each agency to determine if a certified copy of your marriage license will suffice to change your name with them.

To assume the new last name, be sure you have your copy of your marriage license. Then work with each agency to change its record of your name.

POST WEDDING NAME CHANGE CHECK LIST

Social Security Name Change Information

If you legally change your name because of marriage, divorce, court order or any other reason, you must tell Social Security so you can get a corrected card. You cannot apply for a card online. There is no charge for a Social Security card. This service is free.

To get a corrected Social Security card, you will need to:

Show the required documents. You will need proof of your identity. Sometimes you also may need to prove your current U.S. citizenship or lawful noncitizen status. See Learn What Documents You Need for more information. Under the heading, ìType of Card,î select ìCorrectedî for a list of the documents you need;

Fill out and print an Application for a Social Security Card; and

Take or mail your application and documents to your local Social Security office.

For complete instructions, please go to Social Security Number and Card.

MICHIGAN DRIVERS LICENSE NAME CHANGE

To change your name on your MI driverís license or identification card, youíll need to visit a MI SOS office in person and:

Submit your current MI driverís license/ID card.

Provide proof of your name change, such as your:

Divorce decree.

Marriage certificate.

Legal document.

Have your photo taken.

Pay the required fee.

Usually, you will receive a duplicate driverís license or ID card, however, if your card is about to expire, the SOS may give you the option to renew instead.

PASSPORT NAME CHANGE INFO

If your name has legally changed through marriage, divorce, or a court ordered change of name, you will need to apply for a new passport. The process and cost depend on how long it has been since your passport was issued.

If less than one year has passed since your passport was issued:

You will not have to pay any passport or processing fees, unless you request Expedited Service.

Submit Form DS-5504 by mail with your current passport, your name change document (original or certified copy), and a color passport photo. You may:

Use our online guide to fill out and print Form DS-5504; or

Print Form DS-5504 and complete by hand.

More than one year has passed since your passport was issued, and you are eligible to use Form DS-82*:

Submit Form DS-82 by mail with your current passport, your name change document (original or certified copy), a color passport photo, and all applicable fees. You may:

Use our online guide to fill out and print Form DS-82; or

Print Form DS-82 and complete by hand.

More than one year has passed since your passport was issued, and you are not eligible to use Form DS-82*:

You must submit Form DS-11 in person at an Acceptance Facility or a Passport Agency, along with your evidence of U.S. citizenship, your name change document (original or certified copy), a valid ID and photocopy of that ID, a color passport photo, and all applicable fees. You may:

Use our online guide to fill out and print Form DS-11; or

Print Form DS-11 and complete by hand.

You will not need to provide proof of the name change if your name has changed due to a marriage and you have already been issued an ID in your new name. You must include the details of the marriage in the applicable section on Form DS-11.

If you have begun using a different name but cannot legally document the change with a court order, divorce decree, or marriage certificate, then:

Submit Form DS-11 in person at an Acceptance Facility or a Passport Agency, along with your evidence of U.S. citizenship, a valid ID and photocopy of that ID, a color passport photo, and all applicable fees. You may:

Use our online guide to fill out and print Form DS-11; or

Print Form DS-11 and complete by hand.

You must also present a valid ID issued in the name you currently use.

You may also need to provide secondary identification evidence that you have been using the name for at least 5 years, if your ID is less than 5 years old.

There is an easier way to officially change your name. Go to Hitchswitch Name Change and choose from two options: the DIY print at home service or a full-service package, which includes a complete and printed out name-change application. It costs $25-$50, but it’s worth it since all you actually have to do is fill out one single form and you’ll have access to their customer service team who can help answer specific questions.